Bonding

It’s well known that people don’t make new lifelong friends after their 20s, and college is the peak time for it. My closest friends are from college; one friend I may not talk to for a year or two at a stretch, but when we do get together, I hear everything about his marriage (this year, about his divorce). I have other long-term friends I met in my late 20s, but we’ll never be as close.

What do you think this implies about late marriage? Nothing good.

Now, it happens that my old college friend met his wife in college, but the singular of anecdote is not data. She was squirrely 25 years ago. And what killed the marriage was that he beta’d himself. Meeting him, you wouldn’t think it, but that’s what happened. And I recall her yapping at me about Eat Pray Love right around the time she went off the rails, too. She’s a yapper. Not good with boundaries. Squirrely, I told you.

But seriously, tetrapods establish deep bonds of trust when they’re young. Feminists may think they have something to gain from relationships devoid of trust, but human beings know better.

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