So, we figured out what TED talks are.

I can’t remember where I found out about this post about TED talk profile-picture assholes, but there it is, read it. People who’ve done TED talks, or just TEDx talks (which are a smaller, shittier, even stupider version of the same thing), are into using frame grabs from their talks as social-media profile pics and PR handout shots. And when you look at them, it’s always the same pose, The TED Talk Pose:

There are variations, but the favorite is a 3/4 profile shot from below with the arms spread like Jesus, with an exalted facial expression signifying the Impartation of Joyful Wisdom, gazing upward at the audience. An orgasmic fit of self-satisfaction and validation, wallowing in the special warm feeling of playing mutual narcissistic supply with a room full of affluent chin-strokers.

Has a single shrewd question ever pooted forth into the hushed NPRian gravitas of a TED Talk? Just one?

It’s Steve Jobs doing a keynote, with a little Jesus mixed in. TED talks are a mechanism for demi-micro-vips and nano-vips to have vanity videos made of them pretending to be Steve Jobs doing a keynote speech. Like women pay to have “glamour shots” done by photographers.

The content of TED is the Jobs Jesus Pose. That’s it.

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